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After playing with Gabriel for a bit, one of his caregivers came in with a bowl of porridge.  This time it was a different type which Aina had brought in for us.  According to her, this one was much better tasting and highly nutritious.  I scooped up Gabriel and prepared for another long feeding session.  Gen said she would help out as well.  Slowly, we fed him the porridge.  At first he cried a bit, but he settled down.  Before we knew it, he finished the entire bowl!  We finished off with some juice and settled down for some burp time.

Gabriel’s reward would be time on the piano.  I wish we could upload one of these videos, but this connection is way to slow to do it.  So, you’ll have to settle for some pictures of him banging away on it with me.  He absolutely loves being on there and he will cry if you take him off it.  It looks like we are going to get a piano for him when we get back.

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Bonding Day 8: Fatherhood so far…or how I learned to love baby vomit
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Today officially marks the halfway point of our bonding period with Gabriel.  Eight more days of this and then we head to court to officially file for his adoption.  It’s been an exciting adventure, and the time is just flying by. 

I never really understood what it was like to be a father until now.  There is an immense responsibility in it as this helpless little baby boy is putting his trust in me to take care of him.  It’s both exciting and overwhelming at the same time.  “Am I going to be a good father” type of thoughts keeps going through my head. 

There is a considerable difference from the baby I first met over a week ago.  He no longer is afraid of me, rather he welcomes me with a smile that could melt an iceberg.   He allows me to comfort him when he’s hurt, scared or upset.  Sometimes, if he’s really hungry, or I’m lucky, he even lets me feed him. 

Fatherhood doesn’t seem so bad…even when I’m covered in baby vomit.

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Bonding Day 09
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Today is Valentine’s Day in Kazakhstan.  Turns out Gabriel is mommy’s valentine and he showered mommy in little baby hugs, kisses and vomit.  Unfortunately, Gabriel has been very fussy with his eating as we found out this morning when this caregiver brought out his porridge for us to feed him.  She said that he would not eat and we would have to try to make him eat his breakfast.  Usually they leave the afternoon feeding to us, so we were some what concerned. 

So Gen picked up Gabriel and tried to feed him.  He started crying right off the bat and would not stop.  We got to about halfway through his bowl when our translator suggested we stop.  She suggested we try a different type of porridge, which she would bring in tomorrow.  Aina said that her daughter was the exact same way, so when she changed her food around, she would eat all her food.  So Gen gave Gabriel some juice, cleaned him up and we relaxed with him for the rest of the morning session.

When we came back for the afternoon, Gabriel still would not have anything to do with eating.  He was crying and would not open his mouth for us to feed him.  We stopped halfway through his bowl and gave him some juice.  Gabriel’s teething was also getting worse as he would not stop sticking his fingers in his mouth.  He was not a happy camper.  After 45 minutes of feeding, we surrendered.  We only had a few minutes left before his caretaker would come for him.  Gen asked me to play the piano with him to try to get him to cheer up.  He was a like a switch, he instantly pounded on the keys and his smile was back.  It worked.  We ended our visit in good spirits.

We celebrated Valentine’s at the Alehouse Pub with Eric and Kami.  Pizza and beer for Valentine’s Day, certainly a first for this holiday.  As usual, company was great and food was pretty good.  Gen and Kami even got straws for their beer and we weren’t charged for them.

Happy Valentine’s Day to All!

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Bonding Day 6
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Today is our last day in the Hotel Dastan.  It’s too much money to stay there the entire time here, so we finally got an apartment.  The apartment is actually Christy’s, as she is flying to Almaty to finalize Miss Z’s paper work.  Christy left us some food, cleaning products, and more importantly a place to stay.  Thank you very large Christy!! =)

As I shovel down the last morsel of free hotel breakfast, I savor every bite.  I think the food is going to be the thing I miss the most when we leave the hotel.  Gen and I then head back up to our room to get our luggage.  We have three pieces of luggage each weighing over forty pounds, in addition to our carry on luggage as well.  We haul everything downstairs to the entrance of the hotel and await our driver.  The plan for today is to carry our luggage with us to the orphanage and during lunch time, move into the new apartment. 

At about 9:30 we arrive at the orphanage and await Gabriel’s arrival into the playroom.    I love it when his caregiver comes in and he’s got this look of anticipation in his eyes because he knows that we are here.  He looks left, then right and squirms around to try and catch a view of us.  The moment he makes eye contact, its like the 4th of July…His eyes widen and a big silly grin goes across that face of his.  His caregiver then hands him over to me and it seems all is right in the world.

Gabriel has been learning tummy time since we arrived in Kazakhstan.  At first he used to scream after a few seconds of being placed on his belly, and boy has this kid got a set of lungs.  But more and more he has been getting comfortable with this.  Lately he’s gotten stronger to the point of rolling back and forth from his belly to back.  Now he giggles like a maniac when he does this.

After our morning bonding session ends, we bid adieu to Gabriel and head over to our new apartment.  The apartment is on the third floor, so carrying up the luggage was a lot of fun.  Lucky for us, Cerric, Eric and Kami helped out.  Everyone takes their leave as we settle into the new place. 

We unpack a couple of things and head out to the market to buy food and supplies.  At first, our translators took us to the market to show us where things were and how to select stuff.  This was quite the adventure trying to figure out what to buy.  We thought we had gotten milk, but it turned out to be yogurt.  You would think that the cow on the carton was an indication that there was milk, but that wasn’t the case.  Our “sign” language has also been improving here as well.  Gen wanted to get some salami, so she pointed to the one she wanted and showed the woman behind the counter how much she needed.  After a series of pantomimes, grunts and nods, an 8 inch log of salami was handed over.  There is one serious thing to watch for, expired food.  These markets leave food that has been expired, sometimes for over a year, on the shelves. 

Check out at the register was fun as well.  Over here, you actually have to pay for the plastic bags that you put your groceries into.  Also when small change is given back, sometimes a matchbox is given as an equivalent. 

Shopping adventure completed, we head back to the apartment and get ready for the afternoon bonding period with Gabriel.  Today, it’s my turn feeding Gabriel.  I remember when his caregiver showed us how to feed him, and she made it look so easily.  All he did was lay back in her arms as she literally shoveled the food into his mouth.  I’ve only fed him a couple times and he always cries.  He does not like it when I feed him, and he only quiets down when a female shows her face to him.  What should take about 10-15 minutes goes on for 45 minutes.  By the time we are finished, I’m dripping in sweat and wearing his food and drink.  Burping duty ensues and you can add baby vomit to my wardrobe as well. 

I know that we’ve got a long way to go, I just wish it didn’t have to smell this bad =)

Till next time!

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Bonding Day 7
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Today’s time with Gabriel was an interesting one.  The day started off as normal, with us doing his morning exercise routine and playtime.  It looks like Gabriel’s legs are getting stronger and stronger each day.  This morning, as we held him, he started hopping up and down.  He can bear his weight on his legs with us balancing him.  I put him in a walker, but he doesn’t move around in it yet.  He’s content with playing with the toys that are on it. 

We noticed that Gabriel kept sticking his finger in his mouth and appeared to be poking around in there.  Looks like his teething is starting to really bother him.  We gave him a teether but that doesn’t seem to of worked.  Then we tried a teething biscuit, which he immediately took to.   The look on his face was priceless when he figured out that chomping on this thing felt good.

Gabriel was able to get some playtime with Lincoln, Kami and Eric’s son.  They were adorable playing with each other!  At one point, it appeared that they were talking to each other.  I think they were planning their escape from the orphanage!

We also got busted today for changing Gabriel’s clothes.  According to the caregivers, we cannot change their clothes because it’s too “cold” in the room and the children can get sick.  Mind you, this room is quite hot and on numerous occasions, Gabriel’s clothes were wet from sweat because of the heat.  It’s also confusing as the caregivers in the morning told us that it was ok to change his clothes.  

After a bit of a frustrating day, Biyanna took us to a local Kazakh restaurant for some local cuisine.  We were offered quite the selection of vodka as you can see from the picture.  Biyanna then ordered a famous dish, which I can’t remember the name of , but it consists of beef, potatoes, onions and wide, flat noodles.  This dish also consists of horse meat, but we decided that our stomachs were not too adventurous this evening.  The meal was absolutely delicious, the vodka smooth and the company excellent.  What a great way to make up for a trying day!

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Bonding Day 4

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Gabe’s feeling better.  We bought him some medicine last night that his doctor requested. It seems to be working but I’m very concerned.  It looked like cough syrup and chest rubs for adults.  I asked numerous times to make sure that it was for babies and they said yes.  He still has a runny nose but his breathing is much better. 

Joel attempted to feed Gabe again this afternoon.  Gabe was not comfortable at all.  He was fussing and crying again.  We are definitely convinced that it’s because he isn’t accustomed to having a male feed him.  Joel remained very patient but willingly handed him over after half an hour of enticing Gabe to eat.  I finished feeding him without any problems.

We discovered something truly amazing about our son.  He loves music.  Joel played the piano in the playroom with Gabe on his lap.  Gabe was moving his hands, mimicking daddy.  It was the cutest thing I have ever seen.  Gabe complained each time Joel took a break. 

We had dinner at Christy’s, she’s adopted a beautiful baby girl, Z.  Z is from baby room 3, the same as Gabe.  She also loves music like him.  Her process started 7 weeks ago and she’s on her way to meet her family in Almaty on Monday.  It’s so comforting to know that she only had minor hiccups along her process.  She shared her true Aqtobe experiences and gave encouraging advice.  This ROCKSTAR mom went through this process by herself.  We wish them a safe trip home.

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Bonding Day 5
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We are a bit sad today, as we are only allowed one morning visit with Gabriel.  The good new is it’s his ninth month birthday.  He was born on May 10, 2007.  To celebrate, we gave him apple juice in a sippy cup. He loved it so much, he actually performed crunches to get to the cup.  He held it by himself at times.

After a bit of a rest, our other translator, Biyanna, came over to play with Gabriel.  She started playing some music on her phone and danced for Gabriel.  He got into the groove of things as well and got down with her.  This kid is going to be a playa!

As usual, the time with him isn’t long enough and his caregiver comes into the room to take him away.  It’s the saddest thing to see, as he knows that he wants to be with us, but he can’t stay…just yet.  It kills me to see that look in his eyes when he’s carried out of the room.

After we leave the orphanage, we head over to the Sulpak marketplace to grab some lunch and do some shopping.  We need to pick up a couple of baby things along with other stuff as well.  I don’t know if Gen and I had mentioned it yet, but the choices for food around here can be quite adventurous.  There isn’t any type of fast food restaurants like back in the states, McDonald’s, Burger King, etc…The last time one of us tried something, we beat a hasty exit to the nearest bathroom.  Today’s choice of food wasn’t too bad, a very oily noodle soup with shredded beef and a baked bun stuffed with chicken and potatoes.  Desert was nice, it was a crepe type of pastry topped off with honey and nuts. 

We proceed to the indoor shopping area and look for the baby stuff.  You would think that things here would be at a decent price or cheap, but it isn’t the case.  Prices here rival NYC, yet the quality of the product is no where near it.  The same goes for food shopping and baby stuff, like pampers or baby wipes. 

After an unsuccessful search inside, we head to the outdoor market.  Now remember that the temperature outside is about 16 degrees and ice is everywhere.  Even with a fleece, cold weather parka, hat and gloves, you can still feel the cold.  It’s a good thing that we brought along insulated winter boots as well, because the ground is just a sheet of ice. 

The outdoor market looks pretty much like something you would find back home, except almost all the vendors use shipping containers to hock their wares.  Walking in and around the maze of containers, we finally find some of the baby stuff that we needed and make our way back towards the entrance of the market.  Before we exit, we find a vendor selling those fur hats.  Eric, who has been looking for a fur hat immediately runs over to him and tries them on.  I pick one up as well and find it very comfortable and warm! Cerric was quite delighted when we returned to the car when we returned wearing the Kazakh hats.  He pointed at Eric and me and said, “Russian and Kazakh friends”.  We’ll attach the picture of us with the hat vendor.

Dinner was at a Turkish restaurant, Istanbul with Eric and Kami.  They didn’t have an English menu there.  We called our translator to order for us, beef and chicken meals.  Food was pretty good and inexpensive.  We’ll definitely return for future meals.

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Bonding Day 03

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Our morning visit was cut short today because the doctor wanted to check on Gabriel’s cold.  His breathing is labored and he’s very irritable.  He didn’t care much for his tummy time or legs massage today.  He just wanted to cuddle.  He did manage to crack a few giggles and smiles but for the most part, he just wanted to be held.

We were hoping that the afternoon visit was more cheerful but he’s still congested and now constipated too.  It’s probably caused by the iron vitamins that they started yesterday for his anemia.  Unfortunate for daddy because it was his turn to feed Gabe this afternoon (I fed him yesterday).  And so, aside from being cranky because of teething, mouth sores, constipation and a cold, we decided to push his buttons even more by having daddy feed him.  Joel has never fed a baby.  I must say, he was very patient.  Gabe was fussing and crying the entire time he was feeding him.  We couldn’t figure it out because he was swallowing tablespoon sized bites yesterday.  Never thought he would fuss about food.  Beads of sweat run down Joel’s sideburns but he was determined.  He continued to feed him.  The crying only stopped when Joel got up to take a break.  They walked around the playroom and he would try feeding him again.  Again, the crying continued.  I don’t know who I felt worst for Joel or Gabe.  Finally, we decided that I would try to feed him while he held him.  Wow, the crying instantly stopped.  What was going on???  Joel asked if he was holding him too tight or not upright enough.  Then finally it dawned on us.  It was mentioned in the numerous adoption books we’ve read…all the caretakers are women.  He has never been fed by a man.  Could it be?  Tune in tomorrow when Joel attempts a second try on feeding.

Our Kazakh experience:

After our visit, we decided to try out a Ukrainian restaurant that many families have mentioned on their blogs.  We went with our friends K & E (we haven’t asked permission to use their names on our blog, so we’ll use their initials).  Food was pretty good but pricey.  We did discover something rather interesting here.  Upon reviewing our bill, we noticed that there were some additional charges that we could not identify.  Everything is in Cyrillic so we asked our server to review it with us.  She didn’t speak English but did manage to point out that one of the charges was for the straws that they put in our beer.  Don’t know about you guys, but I’ve never used a straw for my beer.  Our friends actually laughed at me yesterday because I used the straw in my beer to stir the head (foam).  The other charge was for each slice of bread that we ate, another thing that we did not order.  We had 15 slices at 8.00 Tenge each (US$1=KZT118.00).  So if you have plans to come here, beware of the additional charges.

Bonding Day 01
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 Here we are in Aktobe, Kazakhstan.  It’s about 7:30am and Gen and I are having breakfast.  Both of us are mulling over what’s going to happen during our first bonding period with Gabriel.  We’re to visit him twice a day, Monday to Saturday and once on Sunday.  It’s still dark outside, and it looks pretty cold.  One of the things we’ve noticed here is that the heat is turned up very high in all the buildings.  I’m constantly sweating whenever we are inside.  We are staying at the Hotel Dastan while the other family is staying at the Hotel Asia.  The hotel is pretty nice and one of the staff here speaks English well.  Aina and Cerric are to pick us up at 9:43 this morning, so we hangout in the restaurant for a bit and go back to our room to kill some time.

Pickup time arrives and we head over to the baby house.  We’re led into the same playroom room as yesterday.  First baby that comes in is the other family’s.   Then in comes Gabriel.  He looks over to us and there is a bit of recognition in his eyes as his caretaker hands him over to us.  For the next two hours we do a physical examination, test his motor skills and take a million pictures.  He’s wrapped in three layers of clothes and has a hat to keep him warm in an already sweltering hot room.  He remains alert as we continue to examine him. 

We’ve been warned ahead of time by our agency, research and the numerous blogs we’ve read that children in orphanages will not be in the greatest of shape.  Gabriel is a bit underweight, he can’t bear his weight on his legs yet and it appears that he isn’t used to parental interaction yet.  Our translator tells us that there are basically 5-10 babies per caregiver so as you can imagine, their time with each child is extremely limited.  They basically pick them up, feed them, change them and put them down. 

As the first morning session ended, it was hard to give him back to his caregiver.  Even though this was only the first meeting with him, Gabriel kept looking for us as he was taken away.  Gen and I head back to the hotel afterwards for some lunch and some off time before we head back for the afternoon session.

Back to the playroom and Gabriel is brought in again.  What’s really cute is as soon as he sees us, he cracks a smile and starts giggling.  We take him from his caregiver and start our afternoon session with him.  We massage his legs and arms, give him some tummy time and interact as much as possible with him.  About halfway through the session, his caregiver comes in holding a bowl of porridge and a cup of what appears to be tea.  She takes Gabriel and shows us how to feed him.  Let me tell you, this kid can eat!  He went through his bowl like it was nothing and washed everything down with his tea.  She tells our translator that tomorrow we will be the ones to feed him.  Parenthood is starting to slowly sink in =)

As we pack up and leave, we say our goodbyes to Gabriel and head out for some dinner.  Afterwards, we get back to the hotel and write up our report to our adoption doctor back in the states.  We send him pictures of Gabriel and our questions and concerns.  Both of us pray that we’ll receive a positive reply back from him.

I know everyone is dying to see pictures of Gabriel right now, but please be patient.  We just want to hear back from our doctor before we go forward here.  You will all be rewarded, I guarantee it!!!

Bonding Day 02
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We’ll keep it short today and let the pictures speak for themselves.  We heard from our international adoption doctor, baby house pediatrician and our pediatrician back in the states.  They all agree that although he is underweight, he is healthy.  They all expect him to catch up to where he should be once he gets the proper nutrition, care and love.
 

Now as promised…let me present to you, Gabriel Joel Nurlan Feliciano!!

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Sunshine in the air…the smell of a fresh meal…a smile on your face

It’s about 10pm here in Almaty, Kazakhstan.  It’s been a long 2 days and we’ve been on a plane for most of that time and we still aren’t at our destination, Aktobe.   Our trip began Saturday, 020208, as Gen and I stepped onto a KLM Boeing 747 headed to Amsterdam.  The flight was scheduled to take off at 10pm EST, and we were to land in Amsterdam at 11am Sunday.  I think my dates are all screwed up as I don’t even know what time zone we are in anymore, so just bear with me. 

Amsterdam, home to artistic great Rembrandt, a red light district that would make Montreal blush and hash houses, is a beautiful city.  Since we had an 8 hour layover, we decided to buy two tickets for the high speed train and explore downtown Amsterdam.  Around the city we go, doing the typical tourist thing and head back to the Airport for the second leg of our trip to Almaty. 

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Almaty

So here we go on airplane ride #2 to Almaty, Kazakhstan.  Both of us are playing catch up with the shifting time zones, but so far so good.  Before we started our adventure, we were in contact with another family that was traveling to the same region we were in.  During our flight, they came up to us and introduced themselves.  This was great because we wouldn’t feel like we were doing this alone and we could both support each other. 

From what we were to gather, the plan was to land in Almaty and travel to Aktobe after we landed.  And as we were warned before hand, nothing ever goes to plan accordingly in this program.  We were hit with this reality when the representative met us at the airport and told us that we would not be flying out to Aktobe to see our child.  Their reason for not booking us for the flight was rather lame, as they assumed we would be coming in late and not able to make the connecting flight.  Needless to say, all of us were very disappointed with this.  Gen and I, along with the other family were told that we that we needed to be in country by Monday and after expending all that effort to get here (driving to DC to get our visas and an insane luggage packing) this was not the way we would have liked to start things off.  We were then informed that we would be flying out the next day to Aktobe. 

After collecting our things, we were whisked off to our hotel.  There we were informed by our coordinator that we would be taken around Almaty for some lunch and some site seeing.  To tell you the truth, we more interested in seeing our children then seeing the sites.  Our coordinator, Lena, was very accommodating and sympathized with our situation.  She did her best to cheer us up and assure us that we would be on that flight tomorrow to see our children. 

After the tour, which included going to the supermarket, seeing the WWII and Afghan memorials, and Russian Orthodox Church, we went back to the hotel for some dinner and some rest. 

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Aktobe

The next morning, we left our hotel at quarter to 5 to head over to Almaty airport.  I would have liked to show some pictures of the airport, but apparently it’s illegal to take pictures of it.  The two hour flight was uneventful until we were on approach to land.  Heavy crosswinds and snow made for a very interesting landing.  The temperature was negative twenty-two degrees and the wind was bitterly cold.  We deplaned and were herded into a very cold building to wait for our luggage.  There we met our translator, Aina and driver Cerric.  We were then instructed to collect our luggage that was dumped onto wooden pallets. 

We loaded up our things into the cars and sped off to where we were staying.  The family that traveled with us was staying at the hotel, and we requested an apartment.  Cerric first dropped off the other family and took us to the apartment.  When we got there, the apartment wasn’t what we were expecting at all.  The smell of stale food and cigarettes was nauseating and resulted in a quick exit for us.  There were no other apartments available at that time.  We agreed to check into Hotel Dastan until they can find a more suitable place.  On our way to the hotel, our coordinator, Gul’nara, called Aina.  Their conversation sounded very intense.  Aina told us that the representative from the Dept. of Education was ready to see us.  We were told that she was a very busy lady and had no time to wait for us.  We needed to pick-up the other family and meet them at the baby house immediately.  Everything was just happening so fast. 

Within minutes, together with the other family, we arrived at the orphanage where the Head doctor awaited.  We were summoned into his office, where we met Gul’nara, Gul’nara’s sister (don’t remember her name), the head of the dept. of education and the head doctor.  He asked for our passports and reviewed them diligently.  He returned them to us and then we were directed to leave.  We then headed to the baby house where we were going to meet our child.  Our nerves were numb from the excitement and I don’t think it was from the freezing weather. 

As we pulled up to the baby house, I remember seeing pictures of the place.  Not in a million years did I think we would be here.  Both of us were lead into a large play room and we were instructed to wait here.  The family we were traveling with was called first.  As we waited, a nurse was walking a child through the room toward us.  For a moment, we thought this was it, but the nurse was looking for the other family.  The child cried as he saw us and ran towards his nurse.  She led the child away and we were left to ourselves again. 

Aina, our interpreter, enters the room and calls us to follow her.  This is it, the moment we’ve been waiting for.  Aina, leads us through some doors, and down a dark hallway.  At the end of it, we enter a bright room with four very Kazakh women staring at us.  There is a look of bewilderment on their faces as they check us out…how unusual that Asians are here to adopt a child.  Both of us are asked to have a seat .  We quickly noticed that one of the ladies, who happened to be the baby house doctor, is holding a small child.  She says something in Russian and Aina tells us to come and hold the baby.  Gen is frozen in fear and couldn’t get out of her seat.  She then stiff arms me to get up and meet the baby.  At this moment, I’m absolutely terrified and hold the baby like he was a nuclear bomb about to explode. 

He had this look of terror on his face, not something I expected.  More Russian was spoken in the room, and a couple of giggles erupted as well.  I looked at the baby again and he wanted to cry, but was holding it in with all his strength.  He tucked in his upper lip and sobbed ever so lightly, but he would not let it out.  His Kazakh caretakers shushed him not to cry as he stared at them from my arms.  At this point, I’m about to pass out from the moment.  Lucky for me Gen has come out of her coma and takes the baby from me.  Naturally, she takes him in her arms and comforts him.  Again, the baby is still fighting back the tears.  Both of us look at him, and began to examine him.  The doctor says something and Aina translates “He is a very healthy boy with dark skin and big eyes, like yours” As quickly as the moment came, the baby was taken away.  The doctor asked if we would like this child, and both of us gave a resounding YES!